Thursday, March 10, 2011

Guess I should update here...

I've not been in the blogging mood lately. Don't know why just have not been here.

I'm doing well. Still frustrated to not have a job and have some other things going on but I'm here today to ask for prayers and thoughts.

My grandpa (my dad's dad) just had some biopsies done. He has a mass on his lung, in his stomach and his lymph nodes are affected. Please pray for the doctors and for our family.

I will update when we know more.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

2011. The Year in Which He Will Not Be In

I've been struggling.  This post has been rolling around in my head for weeks and I just haven't been able to get it into words.

A new year.  A new start.  So new that he will not see it. 

For 32 years my dad was in my life.  He was there.  I might not have wanted him around sometimes but he was there anyway.  He will never see 2011.  He will never write down 2011 on a check.  He will not be there to see me turn 33 or see Gigi turn 6. 

I have to say that my Daddy died "last year."  It was last year that I last heard my dad's voice and was able to ask him for advice.  Last year when it was still my "parents" house instead of just my mom's. 

Last year that cancer invaded our family and my dad's brain.  Last year that we held vigil by his bed for long days.  Last year that he went through chemo and radiation.  Last year that I lost my job and my dad was the one to pick me up by my boot straps. 

Last year.

But a new year holds promises of new beginnings.  New jobs.  New ages.  New experiences.  I know he with me in my heart.  I sometimes just still wish he could be here in person.