My Gigi...

I just need to write about my Gigi.  She is the most loving, caring, cool 5 year old kiddo ever.  She can read me and knows when I need a hug, need a kiss or just need her to snuggle up to me.

Gigi and I have pretty much always been joined at the hip.  Immediately when I found out I was pregnant I *knew* that it was my daughter.  Even as a tiny baby she picked up on the smallest piece of discontent and wouldn't be happy til her Mama was happy.

Tonight my little baby girl (because yes, at 5 I still call her that and will when she is 25) looked at me and just said, "You are the best Mama in the whole world.  You take such good care of me and I just love you so much."  She has been throwing me kisses and hearts since I picked her up from school.  She told me she saved up 100 kisses for me at school and on our way home she smooched every single one of those at me from the backseat of the car. 

Through all the sleepless nights, the crying, the literal fights to get her to sleep, the night terrors, the crying, the sleepless nights (and did I mention the crying? ) she has been HER.  A little person with a big personality.  A Drama Queen at her finest. 

I knew unconditional love before Gigi came along.  I knew that from my parents who loved me even when I screwed up.  But I did not realize how INTENSE that unconditional love could be.  Of course I would do anything for this child - but it's not just anything.  I would go to the ends of the earth to make her happy and you know what?  She would do the same for me. 

"I just love you Mommy...too much" is a familiar phrase in our house.  As is, "Mama I heart you."  She decided tonight that instead of please that our magic word should be heart.  As in, "Mama could you heart help me get this on?"  Goofy girl.  Just another way of her showing her love. 

She fell asleep snuggled up with me tonight on the couch.  When I moved her to bed she opened her eyes slightly and purred.  "I heart you Mama," she murmured and purred again.  The child that I love so much and loves me back also thinks she is a kitty when she is sleeping. 

Last year I took part in the "everyday post something you are greatful for on Facebook" challenge.  I am not taking part this year.  Not because I'm not thankful but because it still is hard to find the good in things somedays when I am so sad.  Plus my friends don't want to hear "I'm thankful for Gigi who makes me laugh," or "I'm thankful for my baby girl who loves me more than I deserve." 

So I'll use my blog instead.  Tonight I am very thankful for my Gigi.  My heart.  My baby.  I love her more than she will ever know or realize - and I'm beginning to think the feeling is mutual.

Counting my blessings...

It's been a tough week all around for me.  But...and it's a big one...I need to count my blessings.  I have a lot of them and hopefully this will help me remember them.  Maybe every Friday I'll start counting 10 blessings or something.  Hmmm...need a catchy title for that.

1. God - without faith, I would not be here.  Seriously.  It's the only thing that gets me through some days

2. Gigi - I mean really.  How could I live without that little girl?  The one who when she's driving me sort of crazy I say, "Could you just chill for a minute?" and she answers, "I left all my chills at home" with a shrug.  Thank you for making me laugh every single day Gigi.  I love you.  I am grateful that I am able to share my life with her and that she is mine.  I can't think of a cooler kiddo around.

3. My Mama - even when I do things that make her mad, or she makes me mad.  I am grateful for her unconditional love - even when I don't deserve it.

4.  My Daddy - I am grateful for 32 years with him.  I have to remember the good times and not just dwell in the fact that I miss him.

5. K - ahhhh...my seester.  I am grateful to her for doing things and making me laugh.  Like call me to tell me that she clipped her kitty's toenails.  That made me giggle and I needed it.

6. Lulu - my one and only niece - but a pretty cool one at that.  I am thankful for her because she is just a great person.  Not just a great teenager or great kid - but a great person.

7. Mo - he has spent a lot of time with my Mama this week and so I've seen him more than usual.  I am thankful to him for pointing things out that I would never have ever noticed in a million years.  Everywhere we go he finds Mustangs, Corvettes and other assorted cars.  I also know waaaay more about Transformers than I ever thought I would.

8. Nono - my 4 year old nephew.  His belly laugh makes me smile whenever I see him.  I am grateful for him because of that belly laugh and because he reminds me so much of my dad.  His looks, his attitude...his temper.  There is a reason his nickname is "Little D"

9. Owie - little Owie...the baby at 3.  This kid has dimples that would melt the Grinch's heart.  He can do anything and flash those dimples and it's magically okay - or at least funny enough that we forget to get mad at him.  I am grateful that he makes me laugh.

10. Steering off the sentimental path...I am grateful for my DVR.  Seriously.  I would marry it if I could.  I am grateful for the technology that allows me to watch my favorite shows when *I* want to and grateful that we can record shows for Gigi so she has something to watch while she is winding down for bed.

So...my first 10 things for gratitude Friday (again...need a different name!).  Feel free to share what YOU are grateful for.