My Gigi...

I just need to write about my Gigi.  She is the most loving, caring, cool 5 year old kiddo ever.  She can read me and knows when I need a hug, need a kiss or just need her to snuggle up to me.

Gigi and I have pretty much always been joined at the hip.  Immediately when I found out I was pregnant I *knew* that it was my daughter.  Even as a tiny baby she picked up on the smallest piece of discontent and wouldn't be happy til her Mama was happy.

Tonight my little baby girl (because yes, at 5 I still call her that and will when she is 25) looked at me and just said, "You are the best Mama in the whole world.  You take such good care of me and I just love you so much."  She has been throwing me kisses and hearts since I picked her up from school.  She told me she saved up 100 kisses for me at school and on our way home she smooched every single one of those at me from the backseat of the car. 

Through all the sleepless nights, the crying, the literal fights to get her to sleep, the night terrors, the crying, the sleepless nights (and did I mention the crying? ) she has been HER.  A little person with a big personality.  A Drama Queen at her finest. 

I knew unconditional love before Gigi came along.  I knew that from my parents who loved me even when I screwed up.  But I did not realize how INTENSE that unconditional love could be.  Of course I would do anything for this child - but it's not just anything.  I would go to the ends of the earth to make her happy and you know what?  She would do the same for me. 

"I just love you Mommy...too much" is a familiar phrase in our house.  As is, "Mama I heart you."  She decided tonight that instead of please that our magic word should be heart.  As in, "Mama could you heart help me get this on?"  Goofy girl.  Just another way of her showing her love. 

She fell asleep snuggled up with me tonight on the couch.  When I moved her to bed she opened her eyes slightly and purred.  "I heart you Mama," she murmured and purred again.  The child that I love so much and loves me back also thinks she is a kitty when she is sleeping. 

Last year I took part in the "everyday post something you are greatful for on Facebook" challenge.  I am not taking part this year.  Not because I'm not thankful but because it still is hard to find the good in things somedays when I am so sad.  Plus my friends don't want to hear "I'm thankful for Gigi who makes me laugh," or "I'm thankful for my baby girl who loves me more than I deserve." 

So I'll use my blog instead.  Tonight I am very thankful for my Gigi.  My heart.  My baby.  I love her more than she will ever know or realize - and I'm beginning to think the feeling is mutual.