I miss him...

From a Facebook note:

It still doesn't seem real. He's coming home from a work trip tomorrow, right? And we will all go to the house for burgers on the grill because he hasn't seen his grandkids for a week or so and needs a 'kid fix.' Right?

His obituary will be in the paper tomorrow. That will make it more real. You know what else makes it real? Needing his advice. I need to talk to my Daddy about how sad I am that I lost my Daddy. He would tell me what to do and tell me to "Get 'R Done."

I am afraid that I will forget. Forget that when he went to Starbucks that he ordered his coffee by saying "Tall. Black. Bold. Own cup." Will I forget that when my mom was out of town that K and I took turns 'feeding and watering' him? Will Gigi remember how much he loved being Papa?

He was such a fantastic Papa. It makes me incredibly sad that the kids will no longer get to climb on his lap for a story. Or that Gigi can't ask him to fix something completely unfixable but he will try because according to her "Papa can fix ANYTHING."

Can Papa fix my broken heart? I wish he could. I miss him. I miss his rule over the television. I miss him telling me to get a job. I miss hearing him tell us he was headed to the hangar. I miss him getting mad because I still had stuff in the hangar. I miss walking in the house and see him in his chair. I miss being so proud of him when he was talking about someone he mentored. I miss his voice. I miss making fun of the fact that his socks always had holes in the bottom and he never knew it. I miss his advice. I just miss HIM.

I hope and pray this eventually gets easier for all of us. I know in my heart that he is in a better place. No more hurt, no more cancer. He's flying his airplane with Jesus. God really IS his co-pilot. I know I will meet him again some day.

All of that gives me comfort but still doesn't fill the ginormous whole in my heart.

We have been busy sorting through pictures and getting songs for a DVD. Busy with memorial service planning and figuring out what defines him to have at the funeral home. Most of the tasks are finished. Now comes the hard part. Not being busy but yet keeping it together.

I want to thank each one of you for your kind words, thoughts and prayers over the past few days (and weeks...and months). You will never know just how much the messages keep me going. I am so glad that I am able to share a little bit of my Daddy with you if you didn't know him.

He was 'good people' and will be missed by so many. I hurt for all of you that are grieving for him right now too.

I just miss him so much.

Tomorrow morning at about 9:30 my Daddy's body will make the journey north to the medical school where he donated his body. I pray that the students will learn from him and maybe because of that will be able to save someone else's Daddy.

I miss him