I Wonder...

I wonder if anyone else ever feels like the world is crashing down around them. Like the streak of "bad luck" will never end. Searching for something ANYTHING that is a positive in a life of negatives.

This is how I'm feeling tonight. No job, Daddy died, running out of money, my lawnmower is broken, my sister and her family are moving away, Gigi starts kindergarten soon...I could go on.

I feel like Pigpen from Charlie Brown only instead of a cloud of dirt I have a black cloud over my head. I know there are positives in my life and I have the bestest little girl, Mama, sister, niece and nephews a girl could ever ask for.

2010 did not start off well and has continued to not be a good year. It's only August but I would gladly take snow right now to have it be a new year and a fresh start. I hate feeling this way. I want to be a positive person...almost Pollyannaish. But I feel beat down.

I know I have prayer warriors out there praying for me and others that don't pray but send good thoughts. My prayer request is for a job tonight. A career. Somewhere that I can go on a daily basis and not only feel good about what I'm doing but feel good about going. Somewhere that I will make actual money would be nice too.

Earlier in the year before I lost my job I made plans for a big trip next year. I was going to take Gigi on a Disney Cruise. If you know me you know what a big deal Disney is. I'm a Mickey Mouse FREAK. I was so excited to take her on the cruise and meet Mickey. Its simply not going to happen and I am so very sad about it. There is no way I can spend the money to do something so frivolous. I was so looking forward to a week in the sun just Gigi and Mommy - meeting Mickey. *sigh*

But real life beckons. Mortgage needs to be paid. Food put on the table (er...coffee table at least LOL). School clothes purchased. So the trip is cancelled. Maybe in 2012 we will get to go and meet Mickey on the big boat.

One bright spot - Gigi's bestest friend, Buttercup is coming on FRIDAY!!!!! I wish I had a little dancing banana man for that. They moved far away at the end of June and they are coming to visit. Gigi doesn't know yet. Can't wait to see her face!!